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A New Crypto Scam Is Created Every 4 Minutes… Leading Scammer Explains All…

A report into online security in the crypto world has revealed that there’s a new crypto scam created every four minutes. Keen to investigate further, Planet Crypto talked to a representative of the Association of Smart Scammers.

PC:

First of all, may I point out that the initials of your name spell ‘ass’?

ASS:

Good, isn’t it? Establishes that we’re just a little bit naughty, little bit cheeky…

PC:

…a huge bit illegal. I mean, a new scam every four minutes. That’s not good, is it?

ASS:

No. It really isn’t. And I apologise for that.

PC:

I should hope so.

ASS:

And I want to assure everyone that pretty soon we’re hoping we can get up to five SPS.

PC:

SPS?

ASS:

Scams Per Second. And with one every four minutes currently, we’ve got a lot of honest toil ahead of us. Well, not ‘honest’ toil, but still.

PC:

You want to do even more scams?

ASS:

Of course! All the blockchains are getting quicker, and we’ve got to try and keep up. After all, we’ve got a terrible reputation to maintain. Only one scam every four minutes? That makes us practically the good guys!

PC:

But you’re scamming people!

ASS:

Yes. But not well enough. We’re falling behind. Not just technically, but morally. You saw what happened with Celsius Exchange: the management took their money out just days before filing for bankruptcy, leaving the customers ruined. That’s a proper scam, that is. And have you seen some of the crypto-currencies out there? They might as well be called things like ‘con-coin’ or ‘steal-ium’. Then there’s Do Kwon. Compared to him, we scammers are like the Dalai Lama crossed with Mother Teresa… but with better laptops.

PC:

You do make a worryingly good point. So perhaps we should end the interview before my moral universe collapses into one great big splodge of grey.

ASS:

That’s where the money is…

PC:

The Association of Smart Scammers, thank you very much.

ASS:

Please, call me Ass.

PC:

No.