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DISASTER APPEAL: PLEASE GIVE GENEROUSLY TO 3AC

This is an urgent appeal on behalf of DEC (Disasters Emergency Committee) and DEC (Disastrous Ego Consequences).

Venture Capital firm, Three Arrows Capital (3AC) urgently needs your help, today.

This year’s yield harvest has failed, leaving 3AC unable to pay its creditors. Its holding in LUNA, once worth $560 million, is now worth a mere $670, barely enough to cover a round of drinks at a champagne bar.

As you enjoy your dinner tonight, think of 3AC co-founder Su Zhu, who banked on Bitcoin being in a supercycle straight up to $2.5 million. Since the money tree stopped producing, he has become so desperate, he had to eat his words. And that’s something we believe no venture capitalist should have to do in this day and age.

But you can help. Here are some ways you could donate or fundraise:

Pledging to sit in a bathtub of baked beans, the size of The Pacific, for the rest of your life, would raise enough to keep 3AC afloat for 15 minutes.

Asking your friends to sponsor you by the mile, and then running to Jupiter and back, would keep 3AC afloat for a day.

If everyone on the planet went without food for a day, 3AC and its $18 billion of assets could be liquid again.

We know that there are other worthy causes out there. We know that you could give to Ukraine or to those affected by the earthquake in Afghanistan. But everyone already feels sorry for them – that’s their advantage. No-one feels sorry for venture capitalists, and that’s why you should.

Please give generously.