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Do Kwon Thanks FTX: ‘You’ve made me look competent!’

Not long after FTX filed for bankruptcy, to our great surprise Planet Crypto received a call from noted on-the-run crypto-crim Do Kwon, who wanted to offer his thoughts on what’s been going on.

PC:

So, Do Kwon… what consequences do you think the collapse of FTX will have for the world of crypto?

DO KWON:

Mostly bad ones, I’m afraid. Certainly for FTX’s investors and customers. But some good will come of it.

PC:

Really?

DK:

For me!

PC:

Sorry… how is it good for you?

DK:

Because I’m no longer the worst guy in crypto! Sam Bankman-Fried has clearly overtaken me as the number one baddie!

PC:

Right. Even though you lost even more money?

DK:

A mere technicality. His fall’s much worse because of the hypocrisy. All that ‘effective altruism’ stuff he went on about. ‘Ooh, look at me, I’m such a nice, kind, good guy… oh no, I’ve lost $32 billion and have probably stolen some of it, whoops!’ At least I seemed dodgy from the start, a bit super-villain-y. I mean, what did people expect? Whereas with Mr Goody-Goody nice-hair, wear-shorts it was more of a shock. Compared to him, I look like… a bit less of a criminal.

PC:

But do you think the world will agree?

DK:

Absolutely. Especially because I’ve got a tee-shirt with ‘he’s the really bad guy’ printed on it, with an arrow underneath. So next time I meet SB-F, I can put it on and the arrow will point at him! If he stands on the correct side of me, obviously. Which he might not. Because, you know, clearly this guy can mess up on an epic scale.

PC:

So if you think he’s now taken the heat off you, does that mean you’re ready to come out of hiding?

DK:

God, no. I’m a narcissistic fraudster, not an idiot.

PC:

Do Kwon, thank you very much.