Creatures of the Night reacted angrily this week, fearing that the horrors in Meta’s results may upstage Halloween.
One headless horseman fumed, ‘I give up. I used to scare the beejesus out of everybody.
But nothing is more horrific than Mark Zuckerberg’s obsession with the Metaverse. That REALLY makes investors wake up in a cold sweat screaming…
It’s the stuff of living nightmares… costing them a terrifying $30million a day…
We can’t compete. We deliver horror one night a year. But Zuckerberg is delivering a nightmare 24/7.
Now, whenever I walk through the walls with my head under my arm in a Meta’s investors’ house… they just shrug and go ‘meh.’
The metaverse division’s chilling losses left Freddie Krueger particularly irate.
‘Nightmare on Elm Street can’t compete with the Nightmare on The Metaverse Balance Sheet. I thought I was the king of slashers. But at Meta – it’s carnage… Blood on the carpet, on the walls… this Zuckerberg has slashed Meta’s market value by 70%.
And because he’s the controlling shareholder we’re doomed, doomed, doomed to eternal torment.’
But not every ghoul was critical. Some supernatural horrors had words of praise for the Zuckernerd. Jack Skeleton said, ‘Got to hand it to him. He’s all trick and no treat. That’s commitment.’
Long range forecasters are predicting that Zuckerberg might upstage another festivity.
One said: ‘Thanksgiving may be reduced to an anti-climax. As the Meta Pro Quest headset is threatening to be the most enormous turkey the world has ever seen.’