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Half-Man Half-Robot Zuckerberg Says ‘There Will Still Be Work When A.I. Takes Over’

‘YOU CAN ALL MAKE ME HATS MADE OF GOLD.’

A.I. can now drive cars, write poetry, paint pictures, do accounts, do chatbots… soon

As half-man, half-robot Mark Zuckerberg pushes his company Meta to develop A.I., in the first of our exclusive interviews, we asked him would anybody have a job when A.I. takes over?

MZ: Ha! Not everybody will be out of work; that’s ridiculous… I, for one, will have a job.

PC: What about everybody else in society? Will they have a job?

MZ: Oh… I hadn’t thought about that. I’m sure we’ll invent new jobs …For instance, I’ll need someone to ‘Bring-Me-All-My-Cash-in-Wheelbarrows.’ ..I mean, a few billion people could do that? And a few billion more people can make me hats made of gold and diamond-encrusted sofas? …and I’ll definitely need lots of security guards to defend me from the angry masses. So there’ll be lots and lots of work in the Bodyguard sector…

PC: And what about the other billions of people? Will they be able to find work which gives them purpose and meaning?

MZ: Look, if they ARE struggling for employment, why don’t they try and do what I do – and try and invent a metaverse? Anyone can do it: all you need is a mere $69.8bn fortune and a sociopathic-ability-to-ignore-what-everybody-else-might-want.  

You don’t have to be that good at creating metaverses – I mean, heck – I couldn’t create a decent metaverse if you paid me. But at least it gets me out of the house all day.

PC: Isn’t it Ironic? By developing A.I. you might be on path of destroying everybody’s jobs – but when it comes to doing your own, i.e. creating metaverses – you can’t do it properly?

MZ: Sorry, I don’t compute irony or humour. That’s completely lost on me.

PC: OK, one final question. Have you A.I. developers ever considered that potentially your work is potentially very damaging for Humankind? Or have you not weighed up the ethics?

MZ: Of course, we need to weigh up the pros- and cons- of A.I. sensibly. On one side, we have Humanity’s position at the top of the food chain… On the other, my ability to afford a groovy new sofa. I think I can speak for all of us, when I say, I really need a new sofa. Because the springs have gone on my old one. And it doesn’t have diamonds in it. So I’m developing A.I. whether you like it or not.

PC: Isn’t the whole project potentially dangerously megalomaniacal?

MZ: Not at all. Now, if you don’t shut up I’ll get my people to invent another chatbot to replace you and ask the questions.