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Our Expert Gives You Their Diagnosis…

As many crypto companies look wobbly after FTX’s collapse, experts have likened the effects to a ‘contagion’ or a ‘virus.’

How serious is this ? Planet Crypto asked our very own medical expert, Dr Samira Madeuppi …

‘If you think you’ve got contagion from FTX-itis you should seek financial help immediately. It’s very serious.

Symptoms vary from investor to investor – but these are the ones to watch for.

Loss of smell. If you didn’t smell anything fishy when SBF was at work, you’ve probably got it.

Fever. Many people get cold sweats …because they’re worried their fragile business model may get exposed.

For the same reason, others get a raised heart-rate.

Gastro. Typically, your bowels may feel liquid… yet your assets much less so.

Loss of Appetite – is common. Particularly for massive, unjustifiable risks.

You may find you’ve been losing weight from your balances.

Yet have your liabilities put on several pounds… Or dollars, or yen, or euros or any other currency.

Other symptoms. Some report their accounts feeling brittle and at risk of breaking.

And you may imagine things, such as the sound of the police knocking your door down.

Any of these symptoms could lead to collapse; in which case you’d better hope that someone nearby knows CPR — Credit Pushing Resuscitation.

Luckily, if you seek help early enough, there are treatments available. These include:

A massive infusion of cash.

Taking a lot of drugs… then hoping your troubles all just go away.

Or, as a last resort, we can inject you with a new vaccine made out of bits of Sam Bankman-Fried. It won’t cure you, but you will gain a blasé attitude, a lack of moral qualms, and a totally unwarranted confidence that somehow you’ll come out of everything smelling of roses and, more importantly, not in jail.’