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ARE CRYPTO DONORS BUYING THE REGULATORS?

This week Crypto became the highest donor in the US election cycle – with 26 million dollars in donations.

Is it having too great an influence in politics, particularly at a time when there are calls for legislation?

We spoke to US President Joe Biden to ask if he was being sponsored by the Crypto Industry.

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PC: President Joe Biden, thank you for speaking to Planet Crypto
JB: It’s Binance.
PC: …Sorry?
JB: It’s President Joe Binance.
PC: Er, right. President Binance, are you in danger of being beholden to the Crypto industry?
JB: No I am not. Nor is my Vice-President Solana Harris.
PC: How about the rest of the government?
JB: Nor are any members of Coingress, the SenApe or the House of Ripplesentatives. And I’m sure it’s the same for any members of the Republicardanos or DemoDoge parties.
PC: So you won’t be promoting Crypto interests?
JB: Certainly not! This line of questioning has got me at the end of my Tether.
PC: Because it sounds like you’re subliminally advertising Crypto?
JB: How dare you! The very idea is complete bullShibu.
PC: Even that comment sounds dodgy to me -
JB: - It’s pronounced ‘Doge-y to meme’ –
PC: - Because – seriously - the public need the government to be truly impartial, if it is to make sensible decisions on the regulation of the industry…?
JB: We are serious about legislating for the good of American people.
PC: Really?
JB: …Yes.
PC: Um…. Are those American people the employees of Binance USD?
JB: Well, yes.
PC: So how do we know that the donors aren’t making you push for financial deregulation?
JB: Look, I’d be inspiring deregulation whether I was receiving donations from crypto or not. The biggest case for deregulation - is that I’m the regulator. With me in charge - who wouldn’t want their currency decentralizing?
PC: Thank you, Mr President. That’s a wrap.
JB: Thank you, that’s Wrapped.
PC: …Wrapped Bitcoin?
JB: Duh.. Of course.