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Kyle Davis Emigrates to Cloud Cuckoo Land

For months, US prosecutors have been hunting for Kyle Davis, the co-founder of Three Arrows Capital (3AC) that collapsed leaving creditors $3.5 billion out of pocket. This is the same Kyle Davis who, whilst in hiding, had the brass balls to set up OPNX, an exchange where those he defrauded could trade on their debts.

Now, Davis has sensationally claimed that US courts have no jurisdiction over him anymore as he has renounced his citizenship and emigrated.

Davis told Planet Crypto, “It’s true. I’m no longer an American facing fraud charges. I now live in Cloud Cuckoo Land, an imaginary kingdom where everything is perfect and everyone happy. I live in an ivory tower with a gingerbread roof and a candy cane TV aerial. It’s great. I’m sitting here with my wife, The Fairy Queen.”

Asked why he moved to Cloud Cuckoo Land, Davis replied, “Because of their much fairer judicial system. There is only one law and that is that nothing is ever my fault. It perfectly matches my view of the world.”

According to Davis, his switch of nationality is legally watertight, having had it drawn up by a gopher in a top hat at the law firm Owl, Mermaid, and Leprechaun. He also claims to have taken part in a citizenship ceremony conducted by Bigfoot and where he swore Cloud Cuckoo Land’s Pledge of Allegiance, “Don’t look at me. It’s not my fault.”

Although there is currently no extradition treaty with Cloud Cuckoo Land, prosecutors have not given up on getting their man should he ever visit the U.S., and have asked the Federal Aviation Administration to be on the lookout for any long-haul griffins touching down.