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The company ‘My NFT’ has recently announced the world’s first NFT vending machine. CEO Hugh McDonaugh said it was to make it easier for people to buy NFTs, claiming that vending machines were the easiest, most accessible way to buy anything…

In Planet Crypto’s experience, this is how buying an NFT from a vending machine will go:

First of all, the machine will promise to give you change, then when you put your money in, it won’t. You’ll get cross, shake the machine, give it a bang, the alarm will go off and security will come and give you a hard stare.

You’ll abandon the quest for change, then instantly find out that the button for the item you actually want doesn’t work and have to settle for second best, the NFT vending machine equivalent of an out-of-date, mouse-nibbled Bounty bar when you really wanted a fresh, delicious Twix.

But you won’t get your NFT… because it’ll get stuck in the twisty metal dispensing device, tantalisingly balanced on the edge of dropping. There’ll be more shaking, more banging, the alarm will go off again and security will re-appear, the hard stare now actively angry.

At least the banging and shaking will make the NFT drop… but it’ll fall right at the back of the dispensing drawer, you’ll have to reach so far inside to grab it that your shoulder will get stuck and then — you know the drill by now — there’ll be shaking, banging, the alarm, and this time security will come back and taser you.

Still, you’ll finally get your NFT… and within thirty seconds it’ll lose 97% in value, you’ll attack the machine in a rage, security will just give up and call the police, you’ll be arrested and end up in jail where you can spend the next five years wondering who on earth thought an NFT vending machine was a good idea in the first place.