On the Seventh Day of Crypto – my truelove gave to me… the Head of the SEC. Given the fact that the SEC have done nothing to prevent the Crypto-carnage of the past year, perhaps SEC stands for Seriously-inEffective-Charlies. Here he is… Mr 5G himself… Grossly Gormless Gawker Gary Gensler…
PC: So, Mr Gensler… Looking forward to Christmas?
GG: Yeah, yeah. I’m looking forward to doing nothing over the holiday season.
PC: Just like the rest of the year, really.
GG: Absolutely: why change things? I mean, I’ve done nothing for 353 days…
PC: ..so why break tradition during the 12 Days of Christmas?
GG: And Christmas is all about tradition, right?
PC: Do you have any predictions for the New year?
GG: Why are you asking me? I didn’t see FTX’s collapse coming, I didn’t see Terra’s collapse coming. Are you seriously expecting to me to make accurate predictions about 2023?
PC: Well you can TRY..?
GG: OK. In 2023: Do Kwon will admit that he’s an idiot, and willingly go to jail; Binance will go 12 months without being investigated by regulatory authorities; Solana will go a fortnight without an outage; and pigs will start landing on the runway at JFK airport.
PC: And…? Any more…?
GG: And… in 2023, I’ll harass a minor celebrity like Kim Kardashian for self-seeking publicity reasons, instead of going after the ACTUAL crooks in the Crypto industry.
PC: That sounds like it MIGHT happen…?
GG: Actually that last one WILL DEFINITELY happen. So scratch that one.
PC: What do you want for Christmas?
GG: Janet Yellen’s job.
PC: Hahahaha. No, seriously: what do you want for Christmas?
GG: I told you. I want Janet Yellen’s job.
PC: Oh. Ah. What are you gifting this year?
GG: I’m sending Janet Yellen a nice Christmas cake, made of cinnamon, cloves and arsenic.
PC: Any New Year’s resolutions?
GG: Yes. To run Janet Yellen over in a monster truck.
PC: You’re not being serious are you?
GG: Course not. That would mean me actually DOING something. But what I will do is this… If I get the wishbone in the Christmas Turkey, I’ll be wishing that Janet Yellen will run over herself with a Monster Truck… Go on Janet, you know you can do it.