On the Sixth Day of Crypto, my truelove didn’t give me six geese a-laying – but she did potentially give me a bird… a jailbird. It’s Do Kwon. Who after his performance as the CEO of failed Terra this year, is more stuffed than all the world’s turkeys combined. And when we meet him on Zoom, he’s dressed in a big beard and white-fur trimmed red hat, jacket and pants…
PC: Hi Do. Are you playing Santa Claus for the local kids?
DK: No. I’m just in disguise because I’m on the run. Hopefully the Cockroach-police will not notice me in this excellent costume.
PC: The sleigh and the reindeer DO make you look a little conspicuous.
DK: Shut up. You are a cockroach.
PC: Oh. So, we’re doing a feature where we speak to some of the year’s biggest Crypto personalities, called the 12 Days of Christmas…
DK: 12 days of Christmas? By the time I’ve finished with them, they’ll be the 0.000000000008 Days of Christmas. Ha ha ha. I have made a funny. See? I take a big number, and I make it a really really small number. Just like I did with Terra Luna, see. Funny.
PC: Yes, I get it.
DK: You are a cockroach.
PC: Hm. So where will you spending Christmas this year?
DK: Hahahaha. You don’t get me that easy, cockroach. Who do you work for? …the Singapore Police? Na? Let’s just say I’ll be spending Christmas in the solar system. On a planet. Which orbits the sun. Nothing more specific than that. So don’t ask.
PC: All I’m saying is, will you spending it with your family?
DK: You’re good huh, you’re good. I won’t be visiting my family. Because they are in Korea. And I might not be in the same continent as them. Or I might be. I might be in Serbia. Or Tonga. Or Timbuktu. Understand? What about YOU, cockroach? Where will you be spending Christmas? …No doubt you are spending it under a pile of decaying leaves, or feasting on some rotting wood, with your cockroach brethren.
PC: Hmm. So what do you want for Christmas?
DK: Cockroach repellent. Hahahaha. I made more funny. Well presumably the cockroach police will catch me at some point. So I just want a cake.
PC: Just a cake?
DK: A big hollow cake, to be delivered to me in prison in which I can hide a pick-axe, a pneumatic drill and a file so I can cut through the bars of my cell.
PC: Is that all?
DK: No. I want a poster. To put on my cell wall. So I can conceal the tunnel I’m digging, just like in the Shawshank Redemption.
PC: Thanks for your time, and Happy Christmas!
DK: Feliz Navidad.
PC: ‘Feliz Navidad’?? Are you in Spain?
DK: How did you know… gaaaah! …You are very clever, Mr Cockroach. Very clever… I have to go to the airport now, to move countries before you arrive in your cockroach police car, made of decaying timber. Adios.