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Financial Experts Who Are Brilliant at Predicting Events Once They’ve Already Happened.

This week our Pastradamus is the World’s Richest Man. Who proves he’s not only rich in his pocket, but also in predictive powers…

For Elon Musk reveals that he suspects Sam Bankman-Fried is a wrong ‘un… Exactly a week after Sam Bankman-Fried proved to be a wrong ‘un.

Elon said he had his doubts when he met SBF, but never expressed this intuition out loud publicly.

But now he proves himself to be a magnificent oracle after the event.

Clutching his temples as if he’s having a vision, Elon explains that he knew that SBF was going to be a fake last week because: ‘my bullshit meter was red-lining.’

Elon continues: ‘It was, like, this dude is bullshit.’ *

And spookily enough his bullshit-meter is astonishingly accurate, because that ‘dude’ WAS  bullshit.

When asked to explain how he is arriving at his predictions about last week’s happenings, Visionary Elon explains his unconventional methods:

‘Most mediums make their predictions after reading “tea leaves” or reading the “sacrificial entrails of a goat.”  Not Me. I make my predictions after reading a “popular newspaper”.

It’s amazing – I can also predict last week’s racing results.’ 

Impressed by his own wizardry, Elon will soon turn his psychic eye onto other public figures: ‘There’s a guy called Hitler. Look out for him. He’ll turn out to be a bad sort. And a fellow called Genghis Khan, who my gut tells me may be a nutter. Don’t say you haven’t been post-warned.’

*  These the actual words of Elon Musk, 51, male. It should be noted that, when making his predictions, Mystic Elon speaks like a pre-pubescent millennial girl from the Valley. Using terms like, ‘dude’ – like, ‘bullshit’ – and like, ‘like’ and the like.