For over a year, writer and entrepreneur Robert Kiyosaki has warned followers to prepare for global financial meltdown and an end to the dollar.
Now Kiyosaki has decided to follow his best-selling financial education book Rich Dad, Poor Dad with a new title – Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Paranoid Prepper Dad – A Guide to Profiting from the Apocalypse.
Here are some perfectly sane tips from the coming book:
Start hoarding toilet paper. It will become the new currency. Denominations will be One sheet of paper = $1. One sheet of Super Soft = $5. One sheet of Quilted = $10. One roll of Aloe Vera Infused = you’re a millionaire. Don’t throw away your dollar bills just yet, though. They will be useful for wiping your butt on.
Store hundreds of cans of food. When economic collapse leads to war, they can be used to build an effective nuclear shelter. A thermonuclear blast should make the contents piping hot, allowing you to set up a profitable café for survivors. Ker-ching!
Remember to buy condiments. It will keep your food interesting and ketchup can be used to trick zombies into thinking you are also dead. Apocalypse business tip #1 – it’s harder to run a business when someone is eating you.
Learn how to start a fire, find water, and patch a wound. So that after the crash, you can set up a fee-paying university teaching those skills to others. Consider extending credit to students with existing loans. The end of civilisation is no reason to forgive student loan debt.
Always keep gold and silver in your pocket. They will be no good for trading, but when earth’s gravity fails, their weight will stop you floating off into space. Apocalypse business tip #2 – it’s harder to run an earth-based business when you are floating dead in space.
Other sensible tips in the book include how to burn share certificates for warmth and how to start a fire using Bitcoin laser eyes.
Kiyosaki’s new book will be released in May in paperback, hardback, and wrapped in tin foil.