As we approach the end of 2022, plenty of people have been left dismayed, disappointed and dejected by the year’s crypto-events… and none more than noted red and white bringer of jollity, Santa Claus.
‘My naughty list for the crypto-world is so long this year… it looks like a puppy’s got one end of a new, industrial length toilet roll and run through the entire neighbourhood with it. And, ironically, the reputations of the people on that list are now equivalent to that same toilet paper — after it’s been used.’
Sighing heavily, the plump, bewhiskered gift-giver said that his nice list was looking worryingly short this year.
‘Practically no-one in crypto-world has come out of 2022 with a good reputation. I did have high hopes for Sam Bankman-Fried up until October… but then, well, he went right to the top of the naughty list. The fraudulent ass-burger.’
Planet Crypto suggested that maybe some of the people who say they’re trying to shore up the crypto-world might be on the nice list — like CZ, for example. But the ho-ho-ho-ing, fictional global present-distributor wasn’t convinced.
‘I mean… maybe. But you just know he’s planning something naughty. He might be saying nice things now, but he’s metaphorically got ‘evil’ written on his forehead in biro. If I put him on the nice list I’m sure he’ll just let me down before Christmas. And with such a limited nice list… well, it’s the elves I feel sorry for. They’ve been working hard making presents, but now there’s no-one to deliver them to. Which mean they don’t earn anything, because they’re paid on a per-present delivered basis.’
When asked if this was entirely fair on the hard-working elves, the corpulent, belly-laughing, sleigh-driver said: ‘hey buddy, I do what it takes to make people happy. But if you want to question my working practices, well, fine. Just see which list you end up on.’