Sloths and slugs have reacted angrily this week – as the Bitcoin network has become really really slow for the second week running.
One angry sloth fumed: ‘The Bitcoin Congestion is damaging our brand. We’re meant to be the slowest thing on earth. But transactions on Bitcoin are making us redundant…’
Particular fury was reserved for Ordinals and BRC-20 transactions, which were blamed for slowing the network down.
Slugs were similarly disgruntled, ‘No-one is going to say their actions are ‘sluggish,’ any more. Because next to the Bitcoin network, we look like reckless boy-racers… Soon people will be using a new adjective – ‘Bitcoin-Networkish’ – to describe lack-of-speed… These Ordinals are threatening our identity.’
The irate animals are planning a week of strike action. ‘We’re planning to have a demonstration outside the White House. Which’ll take place in 2026, as it’ll take us at least 3 years to walk from Union Station to the gates of the White House.’