Buoyed by the success of Cannaland (the cannabis-themed metaverse) Cannaverse Technologies are to launch a new venture – Crackland.
CEO, Mark Bonger enthused, ‘We aim to revolutionize the global Crackhead industry by connecting every facet of the crack community in a digital shithole.’
Just as Cannaland offers virtual reality cannabis cities, Crackland will offer virtual reality crack dens.
‘It’ll be great. Your avatar can sleep on piss-stained mattresses. And age about 30 years in an evening, developing hollow cheeks like the person in Munch’s ‘Scream.’’
Bonger feels there is a demand for a more streamlined approach in the Scooby Snax industry.
‘Ours will be the first Pookie platform powered by blockchain technology. We aim to surround the consumer with businesses, services, and other appealing digital items – all of which will be sold to you by an avatar with a gold tooth and frightening facial tattoos.’
Cannaverse is adamant that their new metaverse will provide an authentic experience.
‘It’ll be crack-ing,’ laughed Bonger, ‘Apple Jack aficiandos will be periodically beaten up by a dealer demanding extra payment. And if you want to have a real crack experience, hard core users can pull out their teeth and sleep in a virtual skip.’
Critics have said that Crackland was not a 100% pure-Crack experience. Said one, ‘The Crackland metaverse was cut with a Baking Powder metaverse. This meant that many of the virtual shops weren’t selling weed – they were selling chemical leavening to inflate cakes and cookies.’
That critic soon disappeared, and was last reported to be buried in the Nevada Desert.
