Once upon a time there was a magical press release issued by Venture Labs, promoting NFTs of objects recovered from the Titanic.
In this wonderous release, the vendors said they were selling NFTs to: ‘place the legacy of the Titanic in the hands of the global public by preserving assets from the ocean liner as immutable NFTs.’
And the world gasped in awe.
The Venture Labs continued, ‘these are the most marvellous historical NFT artifacts… whose value is invisible to any investor who is unforgivably stupid.’
The world wondered and marvelled and said ‘oh how valuable are the new Titanic NFTs!’
And as Venture Labs paraded their NFTs in front of investors, the investors were filled with wonder and awe.
Until a small boy emerged from the crowd and said, ‘these Titanic NFTs aren’t valuable at all!’
The world gasped.
Then the little boy continued, ‘these NFTs of objects recovered from the Titanic aren’t ACTUAL objects recovered from the Titanic. They’re digital files. They’re not the actual antiques. They’re digital encoding made in 2023. These Vebnture ~Lab people are carrying on as if they’re objects from 1915.’
Then the world laughed, ‘the kid is right. These Titanic NFTs are bullcrap.’
But Venture Labs wasn’t done yet, and they were irate and said, ‘look, we’re preserving assets from the Titanic, ok?’
Said the boy, ‘you’re making it sound like the artifacts are only going to be preserved if they’re turned into NFTs? But that’s not the case is it? They’ve survived at the bottom of the ocean in subzero conditions for over 100 years… they aren’t suddenly going to crumble into dust, if they’re not turned into NFTs are, they? …besides – what’s wrong with museums? They do a pretty good job of preserving historical artifacts, don’t they?’
And that should have been the end of the story.
But Artifact Labs said, ‘listen, kid, you’re a precocious little shit, aren’t you?’
The boy emboldened by the crowd’s response, replied, ‘ironic that these are Titanic artifacts, eh? Wonder if their value is going to sink without trace… a second time?!!’
‘Isn’t it past your bedtime?’ Snarled the Head of Venture Labs.
But the whole world booed Venture Labs. And the World lived happily ever after.
The End.
(The Captain of the Titanic was unavailable for comment)
